I Am Awake Now

Dream Deferred by Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up

Like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore--

And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?

Or crust and sugar over--

like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags

like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

For my first writing class on my first year in college, I was introduced to the work of Mister Langston Hughes. This poem was the first poem, from the many he wrote, that I read; and since then, the words have stuck in my mind.  What is this poem about? Why did Hughes meant by a dream deferred? And, whose dream was he referring to? 

In this poem, Hughes was talking about dreams in general; although, some people mad the conclusion that it was about the dreams of the African Americans.  The African Americans fight for justice and equality in a country that guaranteed the right for freedom for every one and that “all men are created equal”.  This poem when I read it for the first, the first thing that came to my mind is my life and what my dreams means to me and how I am going to achieve them. 

Growing up, my parents always stressed the importance of education and how it was the only guaranteed way in life to be someone and a respectable person in society. For my parents, and many other old school minded individuals in my culture, the only career they know of importance is to be a doctor, lawyer or architect. A good career for them is one that would bring lots of money, and the only one they know that could achieve that goal would be anyone of those three career choices.  

My first career choice was to be a masseuse.  At first, the reason I wanted to be a masseuse is because I thought that the name sounded nice.  When I told my dad about that idea, all I can say about that conversation is that I am lucky to still be alive. In high school, I contemplated the idea of being a doctor but the major thing about that one night “revelation” (I had a dream and saw that I was a doctor), is that I hate science and any class that have anything to do with science.  Then, in college, I finally discovered what I wanted to do in life. I want to be an accountant.  

Along the way to achieve that goal, I had a few dumps in the road because of some insecurities.  At some point, I had to question myself and whether I was good enough to have come this far in my studies. Because of those insecurities, I stopped going to school for one going to two years.  I lost my motivation and true purpose at having a higher education.  I had to ask myself was I going to succeed to fulfill a family tradition or my dreams at being successful in life.  I have been giving an opportunity that some people can only dream about. An opportunity to learn intellectually, grow spiritually and change lives. My success is mine alone and I have to fight for that success; I don’t want that desire and thirst to success to dry up and be a thought I had when I was young.